You know all those personal finance experts who always talk about saving, budgeting, living within your means and being financially independent? They often give advice that although has a desirable future outcome assumes that you save up for stuff, live within your means and are financially responsible. How boring! You only live once. Instead, read below how to be broke but cool.
- Keep up with the Joneses. Number one rule for being cool is making awesome impression. If your neighbors or friends get something new, you should definitely follow suit. Actually, think if you can get something bigger and better.
- Finance everything. You can’t afford it? No problem! That’s what credit is for! You are not buying a $30,000 car but committing to only $300 a month payment. For only 5 years. You can totally do this. Why wait to buy the stuff you really want when you can have it now. After all, you have a huge credit limit for a reason.
- Pay the minimum. When the credit card bills come in, don’t waste all your cash to repay them. There is this really cool concept of minimum payment. It is designed with your comfort in mind so you don’t have to use up all your cash and instead can spend it on some really nice stuff. Oh, and ignore that part about how it will take you 38 years to repay the balance if you only pay the minimum. That’s there just for informational purposes. No biggie.
- Stay in debt. There is no need to try and get out of debt when almost everyone in the US has debt. You are in good company. And interest? Well, just focus on that daily interest percentage that your credit card company has listed for you on the statement. When you look at it that way, it doesn’t seem so bad.
- Buy the biggest house. Buying the biggest and most expensive house you can barely afford is a great way to be cool and broke. Make sure you have the most lavish décor, high end everything and remodel as soon as possible. You can finance all of that. If you are lucky, your house may even go up in value so you can borrow against the equity and have some more spending money. Now how cool is that?
- Buy a new car. And do that often. There is nothing like that new car smell. A new car makes you feel and look great. Your car is one of the first things people notice about you so make sure it is fancy so you can make a good impression. Ignore them if people tell you that a car is one of the fastest depreciating assets. They must be jealous of your coolness!
- Don’t save. Why tie up your cash in a savings account when you could put it to better use? Financial advisors always talk about emergency fund. Do you really need that when you can use a credit card in case of an emergency?
- Don’t have insurance. Another favorite of financial advisors and all those personal finance folks. After paying for your big house, new car and cool new toys, life insurance just costs too much. Plus what are the chances you die anyways?
- Follow the latest trends. In fashion, cars, furniture, appliances and gadgets, the trends change all the time. And there is a good reason for it. After all, they are developed after countless hours of research by the consumer goods companies. So by all means, follow the trends! Even if that means renewing your wardrobe and cell phone every season, changing your car every two years and remodeling your kitchen every five years. Remember, that’s what credit is for and trendy is cool!
- Go on expensive vacations. You work so hard. You deserve it! And you have a huge credit limit on your new card. So why not treat yourself to that exotic vacation you have been thinking about. Make sure you choose the best. Go for luxury whenever you can. Think about the cool pictures you can show! You would really like that 5 star resort in the Caribbean.
- Don’t think about retirement. Retirement is for old people! You are way too young to think about that. You have plenty of time. You can think about that later. Plus towards the end of your career you will be making much more than today so it only makes sense to start then. Don’t get depressed thinking about getting old. Instead, enjoy your awesome life now.
- Wait to invest. Same logic as above applies here. Why waste precious dollars today for something that impacts your long-term future? Ok, maybe there is a merit to doing that but you can always start tomorrow. Or next year.
- Get regular “shopping therapy”. You didn’t know that “shopping therapy” is a scientific term? If you are sad, tired, or bored, go shopping. Coming home with something new will instantly cheer you up and make you feel better. Do it regularly and consistently for best results.
So, live by the above principles and you are guaranteed to look your best, make the best impression and always immediately get what you want. You will know that you have enjoyed life to the fullest and you are guaranteed to be the person everyone envies and wants to be like.
Who cares about not having savings, not being able to retire, living paycheck to paycheck and being broke when you are that cool!